I was 21 and my boyfriend was 23
I was 21 and my boyfriend was 23 when I found out that I was pregnant in september. Somehow I wasn't surprised. Although I was afraid I wanted to keep it. But my boyfriend didn't. We weren't in good terms at that time and we were both in our final year in varsity. In his face I saw disappointment when I called Mphatso's dad (Mphatso means a gift). He came in with the option of abortion. He was bitter before the pregnancy all of a sudden he was loving. I told the clinician that I thought he just wants to abort and leave me. The clinician said he can't meddle with my relationship issues but one thing for sure, that child was a present from God. At that time I had backslided from my relationship with God. With enough brainwashing from my ex I agreed to abort. I used the pills. Later in the evening he dumped me. Saying he didn't want me to be the mother of his kids. I cried a lot. I got suicidal. I begun writing down pages of my entire life until when I got it all together. The depression came in. 2 years down the line, now with a new boyfriend, I regret the decision of agreeing to abort. My life will never be the same again. Guilt, shame and grief engulfs me all the time.