I was bullied and coerced into having an abortion...
I found out I was pregnant in April and my baby was very much wanted by me. I told some close family and friends and my partner. For the next twelve weeks I was bullied and coerced into having an abortion. My grandmother told me I couldn’t have another child because of my health problems and I’m tired. A close friend told me that I’ve only just got my freedom back (I have an 18 year old) and that I’d be silly to put myself through it again. The worst though was my partner. He threatened to kill himself if I kept the baby. He said that I’d be bringing a child into a bad world that didn’t ask to be here and that it would be traumatised. He said that because of my age it would be too risky. He said that he would resent me and that I would eventually resent our child. He said I’d ruined his life. He started to self harm. Eventually my mental health worsened and our relationship became volatile, he pushed me in my face at one point and threatened to smash up my car. At 12 weeks pregnant I got an abortion. Yes my decision but absolutely not my choice. I felt so backed into a corner and responsible for causing others around me to feel uncomfortable with the fact I was even pregnant and I wish I’d had a backbone and stood up for what I wanted. The abortion itself was hideous and I now have ptsd. For the procedure, the local clinic wouldn’t put me under sedation because by the time I was offered an appointment, my bmi was too high. I was fully awake and aware of what was happening and the pain was unreal and I now have nightmares constantly. Fast forward a few days later I had a terrible infection and then fast forward a couple of weeks, I began haemorrhaging in my bed in the middle of the night and was rushed to hospital. It turned out I had RPOC and had to have an emergency surgery. I am livid, I feel like so much injustice has been allowed to happen. I’m so angry I feel like a coiled spring waiting to burst and I’ve been suicidal ever since. I don’t know how to overcome this and I don’t think I’ll ever heal. Thank you for taking the time to read this.