I had an abortion in 2013.
I had an abortion in 2013. I was scared the father would leave, scared of putting more responsibility onto my own family, scared I couldn't financially support another child. I went to a clinic. I chose not to view the sonogram which I will regret the rest of my life. They put me to sleep for the procedure. When i woke up i was in a room with about 5 other girls. They wheeled us out to the back to be picked up. All i remember is a rusty, broken chainlink fence and a blue dumpster. I cant find any medical records surrounding my procedure as the clinic closed and the physician died. Every year on my due date, date i found out I was pregnant, abortion date and weeks surrounding those events, I fall apart. It begins as physical symptoms of panic and depression before I realize why. No one close to me knows. I will live with this pain and regret for the rest of my life. I have 5 other children and it effects my relationship with them. Research is so invalidating as it claims abortion has no effect on mental health. I am living proof it does. I am a mere fragment of myself. I feel as though I will never recover. The guilt and loss is too much. I just wish I had my baby. Marley Skye would be 12 this year, but never will be because of the woman who was supposed to protect her/him.