Research Study on Pregnancy Loss

The Institute of Reproductive Grief Care is conducting a study on pregnancy loss.

See our site for more information

stories

Content has been submitted by users and does not necessarily reflect the views of Your Abortion Experience

Stories reach our team anonymously. If you would like us to respond, please include your email address. Any email addresses or other identifying information will be removed before posting.

I always said I would never have an abortion.

I always said I would never have an abortion. This year I had two. I’m 21 and in college, my boyfriend and I were not ready to have a baby. I want to be a mother more than anything. I feel it is my purpose in life. I always said if it ever happened I would keep my baby no matter what. When faced with the decision I knew it wasn’t right for me to bring my baby into life like this and my partner was scared. So I went through with an abortion, the first one was painful but I wasn’t far along and I managed to get through it. I said I couldn’t handle that happening ever again and that I would have to keep my baby if we had another accident. Months later it happened again. I was in denial and refused to take a test for two weeks. I was far along enough to have morning sickness and food cravings and I felt the life inside me. I was devastated when I took the test. I became mean and nasty to my partner and blamed him for my pain. I didn’t want to do the abortion. I wanted so badly for him to tell me we could do this and he’d support me through raising the baby. But he didn’t. I knew he wanted kids badly but I knew that our relationship wasn’t strong enough and we weren’t financially ready. So I did it. It broke my heart. I hate myself for it everyday. I felt forced to do it by my life circumstances. I wanted to keep her.

Tell your story

Share