I had an abortion when I was 19 years old
I had an abortion when I was 19 years old and it was also my first time having sex. I didn't know I was pregnant when we started living together and my mom told me not to come home pregnant, so I didn't. When I told my boyfriend that I was pregnant he said he didn't want a baby as he already had a child from a failed marriage. As sad as this sounds, I didn't want to lose him so I had the abortion. I justified it in so many ways to fit my narrative and lifestyle and I also never told my mom that I was pregnant. I had the abortion and the only thing they offered me was anonymity and a chair to sit in after the abortion. I was awake through the whole procedure, it was awful, and a day I will never forget. My boyfriend and i eventually married but we divorced after two years of marriage. I became a born again Christian and asked God to forgive me, which he did, but I missed out on raising my baby. I believe the baby was a girl so I named her Ashley Marie. Unfortunately I was never able to get pregnant again and there are many days I feel the emptiness of not having my child here on earth to love on. Abortions don't just go away and it is a choice that I wish I had never made. But...God! Here I am 44 years later with a great husband, 2 great step kids and 2 beautiful granddaughters that I get to pour into.