Newly Submitted Story
When i was 20 i found out i was pregnant, i went to the hospital thinking i had vertigo but they ended up giving me a pregnancy test that came up positive. i’m now 23, and i still think about my experience. i do have regrets and i do wonder what you could of been and where i would be now with a 3 year old. at the time it was a different time in my life, i didn’t even know who i was and it was before my boyfriend and i even were together (were together now and have been for 3 years he’s my biggest supporter and i cherish him) at the time he was in college and is a year younger than me, i didn’t want to put him in the position of having to worry about more things than he already was and i myself just wasn’t ready. i didn’t have a job, didn’t know what i wanted to do with the rest of my life and with all that adding a baby into the mix wouldn’t be right. i want to give my children everything and give them a great life and in my situation that wasn’t possible. i sometimes feel like maybe i was selfish, i probably could of made it work but i didn't. but at the same time would i have achieved everything i have if i had my baby? i’m going to college in September, i’ve finally figured out my path in life and im content. but i think about my baby everyday. i was 16 weeks when i had my abortion, did my baby feel it? is my baby mad at me? i wonder if it was a boy or a girl. i really wonder what you could of been and im so sorry. i hope when im ready my baby comes back to me, i really hope so. i hope when i have my next baby that my first isn’t upset wondering why i couldn’t love it the same way. but i truly do love my baby, i wouldn’t of been able to care for them with my full potential. i wasn’t ready. i really hope we get to meet one day, i kept my ultrasound photo and everyone will always know about you. you’ll never be a secret, you’ll never be forgotten. my first baby will forever be in my heart and i will get to hold you one day when we meet again.